A Vehicle for Nostalgia

My husband’s hobby is cars. Today, he bought a 25 year old car to modify. He is living his best life.

The car he purchased happens to be the same make and model as my very first car. They are not the same color and are not the same year. From the outside, they do look remarkably similar, but I felt nothing about this car when I looked at the pictures online.

This evening, I arrived home from work to find everyone out front; my kids running around in the front yard; my husband beaming next to his new project in the garage. It’s been a little bit of “a day” for me, so I really had to dig deep and muster up some excitement for him. After a few moments of talking and looking at the car together while I feigned interest, he said, “You wanna get in?” “Of course!” I said using up my last ounce of enthusiasm for this endeavor.

He opened the door, and as I looked inside the car, a million tiny moments rushed over me. I sat down in the driver’s seat and looked around the inside of the car. A river of nostalgia flowed through me. As my kids swirled around the outside of the car, laughing and playing, I sat inside the car and was 17 again. That was a tumultuous time in my life, and that car represented freedom. Once I had that car, I could escape the danger I was forced to encounter. It was my way out. That car was everything to me. Today, many years older, sitting in my husband’s slightly different version, I looked around at all the features. The door handle and lock button. The air vents. The radio display and air knobs. The stick shift. I spent a lifetime in that car, and it meant so many things to me. Freedom, escape, choice, safety, progress. Outside the car my current reality babbled while inside the car I steeped in my past.

After a few minutes of submersion, I came up for air and rejoined my present. I got out of the car, and my husband and I chatted about my old car and his “new” car. He said, “Hey, you wanna see the guy’s keychain?” We laughed and laughed as another wave of nostalgia crashed over us both.